My ex is moving out of the country. Well, at least out of this one and back to his homeland where his longtime girlfriend lives. Made for an interesting conversation today that ended up bringing up unsettled emotions and raw truth. The reality: he doesn't get it about me. He doesn't understand my heartbeat. Probably never has, poor guy, though he's not alone - of this I am sure.
No wonder he called me a "handful"; to him I'm sure I was. My guess is that I would seem that way to anyone who lives the "It's all about me being happy" thing. It's good to be happy. I'm all for it. But at what cost? (Please know there is a huge difference between contentment and happiness, which is another blog topic altogether). And this is what hit me: people whose perception is that their happiness is first and foremost are the ones who, very often, can't (or won't) see the cost, because to them, there is no cost if it's not one they themselves incur. Here's the rub: we all do it. On some level or another, we don't see the cost for our "happiness," our blessing. This afternoon served as a very painful and imminent reminder that the cost is paid, completely, sufficiently, and I, too often, make it all about me, hard as I try not to.
But for the grace of God go I...
4 comments:
Too bad we can't obtain some happiness vouchers thereby incurring no costs to ourselves, or anyone else for that matter! I hear you about the cost of happiness... and yes we do buy, sell and barter to gain access to this market. Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, eh? ;)
The cost to which I'm referring is the ultimate price paid for my life and my blessing... of which I am no more deserving than any of those about whom I become frustrated.... In Christ alone...
I will pray about the family issues this raises for you. Those who seek happiness at any cost are the most selfish of all. Aren't we blessed to know that God sees our hearts and our motives and knows our desires, even when those around us see only what is "best" for them? I love you my friend and pray for that peace and contentment in this situation...
to think of that cost is overwhelming. our wrongs, and the wrongs done to us, were all nailed on that cross with Him...my little brain has not completely absorbed the enormity of it.
blessings to you, ksh!!!
sail the fish
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