Sticks and Stones....

I've been thinking about the old saying. For as long as I can remember, every time I heard it, even as a child, something didn't sit right. "Names" (aka criticism) DID hurt me. They still do. Oh, I wish I could say that I've learned to "let it go", to understand that "hurt people hurt people".

When my daughter was young, she was given a book ~ You Are Special ~ by Max Lucado, which tells the story of a wooden person, called a Wemmick and named Punchinello, who is learning to find his identity through his maker, not from what others think of him or how they judge him. Worthy Wemmicks get stars stuck on them; unworthy Wemmicks get dots. Lucia, the Wemmick who is deeply connected to her maker, has neither "sticking" to her. Both fall off.

It didn't take me long to understand its message (nor to start reading it to my students on the first day of school), and, even though I "get it", I don't always "own it". What took longer to figure out is why...

Words matter to me ~ a lot. Words of affirmation is one of my love languages. "I appreciate you." "I enjoy you." "You're beautiful." "You amaze me." The list goes on... =)  It's why I love getting notes and cards: the words, plus the time it took to make it or choose it, send it....It's also why I've kept the cards that come with the flowers and some of the emails Rod has sent....very happy sigh....words....

I've always joked that words of affirmation are an inexpensive love language. My dad's love language was gift giving. God knew that I would need a different love language because He knew I'd be a teacher and my income would not support that gift language very well.

While it's inexpensive to give words of affirmation, words of criticism and/or discouragement are costly, at least to me. Call me over-sensitive (it wouldn't be the first time), but it makes sense that if I feel loved with positive words, negative words drain the love tank.  The positive stay with me....so do the negative.

I'm learning, still, to find my identity in who made me, not in what others say to, or about, me. One thing that remains: it's not easy. But, it is worth it.

Maybe if I were a Wemmick and not a woman, I wouldn't struggle so much. Then again, being wired the way I am, I'm pretty sure I would. Could be why my son suggested that he, my daughter, and I all get "matching" tattoos: a dot falling off.

I'm in.

A Time to Write

Ok....so it's not a biblical principle, but that doesn't mean it's not true. Sometimes, for some of us, thoughts bubble up inside and need to find their way out: thoughts that encourage us; thoughts that plague us; questions that provoke us; concerns that consume us.

I'm keenly aware that not everyone ponders to the depths that I do. Being wired to be a deeply feeling thinker is not always easy, either, and I'm not just talking about myself. There are times I wish I didn't read between the lines or have that "gut" feeling that proves the biblical principle that "out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks." It would definitely be easier on the people in my world.

Those who do share this "intensity" of thought need an outlet and find it in a variety of ways. Some play music, some create art, others exercise. I write. Let me rephrase that: I NEED to start writing again. Re-reading some of my blogs helps me see where I've been, where I keep looping around and need to (quite frankly) make some progress.